The joy of saying NO
How often do you say yes to extra tasks at work or invitations to events you do not want to attend?
Often people say yes from a fear driven place, "guilt, "seeking approval from others", "fear of what would people think" and FOMO "fear of missing out" and many other insecurities.
Saying Yes to everything can leave you feeling tired and exhausted. Every yes when it should be a no leads to a build up of bad feelings such as resentment, poor quality of work, stress, exhaustion, feeling critical of yourself, feeling irritated with others involved, feeling there isn't enough time etc. You know you wanted to say no, so you feel bad because you didn't listen to the most important person in your priority list "YOU".
Practice saying no and then let go of the bad feelings it brings up. Over time it will become easy. You will realise saying no is not a bad thing and actually you are doing everyone a huge favour. To understand what to say no to, you must understand what are your priorities. Make a list: YOU, Family, Spouse, Career, Friends, Fitness, Mental health, Your energy, Some me time, Rest etc.
When faced with a decision, ask yourself: Do I have time? Do I actually want to do it? Will it benefit me and help me grow? Will I feel bitterness while doing it? Will this cause me extra stress? Do I have other priorities when comes to spending my money? If I say yes, will I regret it? When its not a hell yes, and you are in two minds, it usually because you want to say no.
Say no to the FOMO (Fear of missing out) - I don't have FOMO, I'm pretty clear on what I want to do. I know this can be a big challenge for peeps and it can really be a big cause of people saying yes to so many things, sabotaging and procrastinating the things they really want. How I look at FOMO is, you can't miss your life. If you need a rest, rest. If you need a break from social media, take a break. If you don't want to go on date or social gathering, don't go. You can't miss anything that is for you and in your heart & gut's desire. Once you learn and really understand how to listen to yourself, your FOMO will dissolve. Take back your time and energy today.
Say no to people who drain you and drag you down. Notice the people who lift you up and spend more time with them. It is your choice after all. Some times we feel stuck but we are not, the only place you might be stuck is in your head with your thoughts. It's not really happening. You are a free person.
Set healthy boundaries. What do you need to feel good? Make a list. Make more time for those things. If people don't do what you like to do, initiate it. Invite people to activities and events that you like.
Your time is precious, learn to say no and stand your ground. Thank you for reading. Love and Light to you. xoxox
@Carmellifecoaching I help women in creating more self-care, healthy boundaries and a healthy life balance and much more. Book your free coaching consultation with me today.
